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the song of the PHOENIX

3/13/2017

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The thing about rebirth is you have to die first
I thought my first death would be my last
My body was pressed against the cold ground
Burdened down by my sins of the past
A sea of Skeletons burst from their graves
Pouring out of the closets I had locked them in
In hopes to never see them again
But there I was beneath a sea of sorrow and regret
The bones of old faces, dead bodies of lies
Burrowed themselves into my skin
As they flowed over me
I was dying 
Gasping for my last breath
Clinging on to life 
Trying my best not to drown
Savoring the old oxygen in my lungs
I flailed my limbs around 
Attempting to reach the surface
But the more I tried the deeper I sunk 

A wise voice that sounded like mine
Invaded the rattling of the bones 
And whispered, 
You must be still to float
You have to let go of the ghost. 
How silly was I to tread against the tide?
A part of me died 
So that I could live 
I let go of life 
And I was born again

We will die a thousand times 
In this existence 
A thousand more in the next 
The song of the Phoenix 
Never ends
Might as well sing along
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trumped: a new america

3/6/2017

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​kidnapped 
Stolen at birth 
It's innocence 
It's Potential 
stripped away by its 
Perverted founding fathers 
Swept under Holy sheets of white 
Stained in blood
Embellished with Manifest Destiny 

We thought we could escape this feigned ghost
Spotted in deep red
We hoped we would find it
Remove the blotches 
Revive the spread 
Wash the flag clean
Freedom, hope, abundance
america 

But, Nations built on sinkholes 
Don't stand long
In the meantime we
Inhale the fumes oozing from Pipe dreams 
we know tar is filling our lungs 
still, We call this air clean

We remembered America as an ideal
The prodigy child 
Until
Trump 
​
Trump was us stumbling upon
America's young limp body
With cold eyes
rotting away in a corn field
her soul sucked out 
Left to disintegrate
By the invention of Whiteness 
That plagues both races
A cure that division won't allow 

Oh but we won't mourn
Her loss soul 
for We have mourned already 
my people knew
Now we simply have more proof 
Trump has placed a mirror to 
The festering sore 
Of dreams deferred 
These scars are where past and present meet
In this Rejoice
It is time to sever the limb 
The time is nigh

children of fire blood and flesh 
Dance beneath the moon
For the revolution calls
It's howling for you.
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Protect the future

2/18/2017

 
We were born dead
Drawing closer to our last breath
From the very first
Withering before EACH OTHER'S eyes 
With smiles etched on our decaying faces
We watch the hands 
As time patiently peels away the layers of our flesh
Fatality awaits all who draw breath
We bear the same fate, death 

Oh how fragile and broken 
We mortals are
But the future casts a cast spell protecting our vulnerable form
The future etches an escape 
From the fates
The future
Turns Venom to wine

We are the future 
It is in our power
To immortalize 
ourselves
Yet we are selfish and cruel 
Blinded by the rays of now 
Distorting our views
So we can't see beyond
Our own lifetimes
We keep ourselves mortal
Leaving nothing behind

Hate, War, Pillage, and Con
It's a nasty pedestal 
Mankind sits on
He will fall and we will rebuild
Emerging from the flames
Anew
Fresh like morning glory
Leaves kissed by dew

We are the future
But first
We must snatch the blinders from our eyes 

We can Cheat the test of time
Immorality is real 
Protect the Future
Because
The end is near

counting sleep

2/18/2017

 
7 days,  7 nights I spent Hibernating 
for 7 days and 7 nights 
My eyes were either closed or wet 
Reality was the enemy from which I hid
Cloaked in sleep 
Reality came with shackles 
Shackles I slipped out of
When I slipped into sleep

Unwavering freedom lies in the land of dreams 
Slumber soothed me 
Placed my soul at ease
But upon awakening 
Reality would shake me
Scaring me back to the comfort of my dreams 
Frightened I closed my eyes 
attempting to escape this space

but life too is but a dream
a dream my fears had turned into a nightmare
a pinch to the arm 
revealed the illusion
the demons i cast to scare myself into safety
were unmasked 

and only then was i able to rise from my slumber
free to truly dream

time travel

2/6/2017

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Looking back the days feel like months
Moments stretched and pulled by despair
Loosening the threads,
Abusing the elasticity of the fabric, 
Leaving the space limp 
And elongated past the point of return

Sitting now I feel the moments gently pass 
Time has become water down a stream
Or slipping through hands

we spend life
Pushing up our heels
Trying to match Time
Arms outstretched
Fingertips grazing the hem of his cloak
Fists closed grasping the air
We long for Time
As dogs long for their tails
​
Time, Escapes us with each breath
He runs ahead,
Or so it seems

Hidden in the mind, 
We can find the key to Rewind the hands of time
Project ourselves into futures
But first we must shift through the manure  
The stench of the past 
Scrape the scum from our thoughts
Because it blocks the view
Cleanse so the sun can shine through
And soon we will find
there are ways to penetrate Time

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Giant toy cars/ unfulfilled

2/6/2017

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I am only but 22
But I have experienced an emptiness akin 
To 44 year old men 
With giant toy cars
And life-sized barbies to squeeze them in

I too 
crushed this dry fruit
That had become my life 
Head thrust back mouth wide 
With squinted eyes
Drawing the illusion
That a drop of joy might fall and
Graze the tongue 
For I had forgotten it's taste
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invisible man

2/6/2017

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I find myself in your clothes
As if wearing your scent 
Feels nearly as good 
As you wearing me

There's fun in pretending 
Living in the spaces
You once occupied
is as close as I'll come
To the fabrication of what was  
Making homes out of the clothes you housed 
feels empty 
Even with me inside 
Cold 
Even with the warmth of its weight 

It always was
Cold
And
Empty
Loving you my invisible man
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lissen

2/6/2017

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Creativity, divine intervention 
Inward inertia jumping into existence, 
From our joints. 
Surging through skin
Breaking into time 
God speaks in hymns

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Idols

2/6/2017

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I do to people 
What Leo's do to lovers I idolize them
Hatch massive gods from their foreheads-
to cast shadows over their demons 

I impede on their freedom to fail
To change, To be human 
I lock them up
In a castle on a pedestal far, far, far away 
From who they really are

I'm drawn to flaws
A broken jaw, crooked teeth, scabs on the knees
Call to me, Grab at me 
With their marshmallow mouths
Gentle sensations tugging on my sleeve
Pulling me to flaws
So that I may give them new names
I call them pretty, intriguing, love
People are flawed at the core 
But not as passive
For I give them new names
​That they don't answer to

I've grown to understand 
gods name themselves 

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the spectrum of sacrifice

2/6/2017

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She told me I scratched her
I apologized

I told her she scratched me
​ She cut her nails

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